I was talking with a few friends at work last night, and we were discussing some of the morbid things that we've seen while being police officers. We laugh at these stories not because we don't think there terrible or some times gross. We laugh because it helps us stay sane, and to be honest, we see things that are some times quite hilarious. I've decided to post a few here for your enjoyment.
I received a call of a suicide. So, my partner and I responded to the address as quickly as we could. This was exciting stuff. It was going to be our first suicide where the party was found hanging. I was going to get there as fast as I could, b/c I refused to let Fire get there first and mess things up. So, we arrived on scene, and the calling party was a neighbor who was waiting across the street. We made contact with him, and he starts yelling and screaming that his poor neighbor hung herself. So, we frantically ask him to tell us how he knows this information, and which house the lady lived in. So, he points toward the back yard, and says she is hanging from her clothes line, and we need to hurry to cut her down. We go to the back yard excited and a little nervous for what we are about to witness. Our excitement turned into immediate laughter when we found not a human hanging from the clothes line....BUT....a life size sex doll. Yes sir, a full size sex doll complete with all the trimmings. She hung from the clothes line for all to see! We made the guy so mad, b/c all we could do was laugh at him.
A few buddies of mine were called to a dead body. We get these a lot, and they're really not a big deal. I mean there sad to the families, but we're there to do a job. We are sensitive but when it comes to the late late late dead body calls right before our shift is about to end, we just want to hurry up and get out of there. So, they get there and there is this really old guy who died in his sleep from natural causes. As one of them was looking for his paperwork, they found lieing next to him a strap on penis dildo. The guy was probably pushing 85 yrs of age, and he was still getting his freak on. They will forever have painted in their minds...old guy and his sex toy!
About a year ago, I jinxed myself and said I haven't done two things since becoming a cop: 1. wrestled a lady or 2. wrestled a lady with red hair. Why in the heck I said this is beyond me, but I said it. We had not been in service an hour when a call came out disturbance with a woman high on PCP. We get there, and as the front door opens, we see the woman with red hair completely naked running around the living room. I had the fun privilege of wrestling my red headed lady high on pcp to the ground. Laugh it's really OK. I'm still a little mentally ruined for that, but I'll eventually get over it.
I can go on and on but I'll leave you with this final one that still makes me laugh. Disturbance call between a husband and wife. We get there and the guy comes running down the driveway to meet us. He says that his wife won't leave him alone. He says "get her to stop talking she keeps talking and talking and talking!" "I work all day long and I have to come home to this woman who will not stop talking." My partner and I look at each other doing our best to hold in the laughter and wonder if this person is being for real. Well, the woman starts down the driveway to tell her side of the story, and before she could get close to us her husband turns around faces her and yells "get back woman I can't hear another word out of your mouth!" He then takes off in a full out sprint down the street away from us and his house screaming at the top of his lungs "I can't take it anymore...she just won't shut up!"
I can go on and on but these were some of the stories that we still get a could chuckle out of.
Enjoy!
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